It's Just a Flesh Wound!

So there it is. I am stiff, my ear hurts a little bit, my throat is sore from the tube but I am oddly okay. I'd like to think of myself as the best patient ever.

Admissions did not have the information to send me to Nuclear Medicine (that's just wrong) so I told them and went down there. This was by far the worst part of the day. I had to get four injections of that radioactive stuff in my left cheek. It really did feel like I was being assimilated by the Borg and I had visions of blue veins growing on my face. I was told to then pretend like I was chewing to move the stuff around and I got under the camera. This lasted for an hour and forty-five minutes to no avail. They could not identify the sentinel lymph node and I was now fifteen minutes late for surgery so they sent me up without pictures. So I was still not having much luck with this thing.

In pre-op, I was told I'd need to pee in a cup because UH requires pregnancy tests for females of child bearing age (at least I am sill in that group). I then told them about Aunt Flo and we all had a good laugh. I get into my lovely gown and they whisk me away to my chamber where 30 people descend upon me. They've been waiting for me. All of them. Everyone asking me the same questions. The nurses are struggling with the new software and I giggle as they apologize. I tell them what I do for a living. Anesthesia sticking IVs in my hands, nurses sticking sticky things on me, residents telling me about the surgery and that depending on the size of the "flap" (see above), I might have to stay the night. I am bummed but one night is better than two days. Herr Doctor pops by and sits on my bed. I apologize for being a problem but he says, "It happens" and they had a guy with one in the same place yesterday - although his was 4 mm! - and it was hard to find the SLN. They would try a couple of different probes in surgery and if that didn't work, he'd wake me up and we could decide whether to just watch the area or take out all the lymph nodes. I am still waiting for a break here but I remain cheerful. One of the anesthetists asks me if I want the relaxation drug before I go and I say, "hell yeah". It's awesome. They drag my mother and godmother in so I can wave to them and were off to the OR. I don't remember why or how we got on the topic but as we arrived I was giving everyone in the OR my favorite drink recipes, including an electric lemonade. They put on the oxygen masks and Laura went sleepy time.

It was sunny. And green. I was in my garden and someone was calling "Laura. Laura." I woke up and it was three o'clock. I was drowsy for about 15 minutes but after that, fine. I had more really nice nurses struggling with the software, giving the IT people the vendor sent the stink eye. I told her she shouldn't let it keep her up and night and that they (the nurses) would work it out together. The male resident stops by and tells them they are sending me home. I beam and say "sweet". They ask me to rate my pain level from 1 to 10 and I say "1". I am the happiest girl in recovery until they bring Dennis out of surgery. He doesn't want to wake up and his nurse is yelling at him and yelling at him. Now I might be a little delusional but when I heard "Laura", it was just someone calling out to me. Not like Dennis. He does wake up but then moans and moans and moans and moans! I have a Coke and some Lorna Doone cookies and then my nurse tells me she is handing me off to someone else (on the other side of recovery where they discharge you) and that I have been the best patient. See, I am not just bragging.

I am so happy to be away from Dennis that I munch delightedly on my cookies and smile as I meet my new nurse. She is also great. I am enjoying the relative tranquility and then Neil comes out of surgery. He makes Dennis seem like a champ. Not only will he not wake up, he is in distress or so it seems. I could tell the nurse was alarmed. She was checking to make sure he hadn't had a stroke. He didn't. Then he told them he was in pain but he wasn't. This went on for some time. They sent in my mother and godmother and we chatted while they found my clothes. I finally got to use the bathroom and when I looked in the mirror, my hair looked perfectly Flock of Seagulls. As I walked out, I told the nurse at the counter that I thought I'd leave my hair like this. She laughed.

So that is about it. I get my stitches out in 6 days.