Am I Pleased to See You or Did I Just Put a Canoe in My Pocket?

"WOOF!"

First let me get this out of the way, "I was right"! I just knew it was going to be a boy. Perhaps it was the agita (a sure sign there is another man in your life!)? Perhaps it was the early arrival of the pot belly? Perhaps I am a witch who can see the future? Most likely it was the luck of the draw and for once I was on the winning side of a 50/50 wager. I have been rather lucky since receiving my Wee Little Garden Gnome (yes Stef, he is sitting on the fake grass right next to the one you sent years ago).

In honor of Baby D (aka Larry Larry), I thought I should host a "Flash By Name, Flash By Nature - Name the Baby D Contest" because I just think the kid is going to be pretty Flash*. I haven't decided what the prize might be - Perhaps I can interest someone in some Indians tickets? How about a LeBron James Cavs jersey? - but we'll cross that bridge when someone really impresses me. To get you started, I thought I'd provide you with some little known facts about the Baby D:

• Baby D's father, maternal and paternal grandfather, and paternal great grandfather are/were all Larrys so he hails from a long line of Larrys.
  
• Baby D's mama was born and raised in West Unity, Ohio, a town with a stop light. This means you can reach into the Palin lexicon to come up with some really creative names based on geographic locales. So go forth and utilize the "Google Maps" for delightful locations in Northwestern Ohio and please, don't forget your favorite fair food!
  
• No one in Baby D's family has yet employed a bar sinister (that's for you Anglophiles out there) so don't forget the "Thompson"!
  
• Baby D's father spent his youth listening to Rush, AC/DC, KISS, and Judas Priest. He was one of the many few who "didn't see that coming". Feel free to pillage lyrics, song titles, and band member names.

• Baby D's maternal grandmother has an irrational fear of Biblical names so don't be afraid to pick up the good book and peruse its contents for spiritual guidance.
  
• On the other end of the spectrum, Baby D is due the first week of December so that makes him a Sagittarius. According to the "stars", Baby D will be ruled by Jupiter and the Ninth House, his favorable color will be Purple (so go for the Prince), his key body part will be his hips and thighs (perhaps Elvis), and his lucky gem is Topaz (Alfred is going old school but also the name of Baby D's daddy's favorite stuffed dog).
  

In conclusion, I just want to offer a hearty congratulations to Larry and Chris and also to remind them that parenting is a serious business. You need to be cruel to be kind, to know when to give them an inch and when to yank on the leash (literally), and finally, when to say yes to the fauxhawk but perhaps no to the tattooed eyebrows and horns.

Is it just me or does this guy look a little like George?

*If you don't know your Flash, for shame! Watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYNlcLx91PA